/Stop, Look and Listen!

Many years ago children were taught a version of the Highway Code that required them to Stop! Look and Listen, to make sure it was safe to cross the road before stepping off the kerb.

In many ways this is also at the very heart  of the Christian Faith. 

Firstly we have to stop. Stopping or even pausing to reflect on things seems almost beyond people these days. Life viewed from the outside now, looks increasingly busy and fraught for many people. It may just be age but I don’t remember it being like that as I grew up. It is very easy to recommend people stop, perhaps less easy for people to actually do it. There are calls on our time that just didn’t exist a decade ago, never mind the years before that, a constant buzz of phone life, of internet life, of Prime Delivery slots. 

All that said, if we don’t manage to stop, to pause, to allow space so that we can simply exist then we will run ourselves into the ground. Occasionally many years ago people would tell me they couldn’t afford to go on holiday. Holiday for them meant the package abroad, theme parks, eating out. For me out of choice as well as necessity it was a field, a tent and time to sit. To play simple games with my children. To walk in woods or cliffs or even just sit on a bench by the water and watch the way the sun played with the ripples or to be more brutally honest to watch the rain bounce off everything.

Once we’ve stopped and come to ourselves, then, we might be able to look. To look at Jesus. Just to gaze reflectively on his life. When I grew up it was a given that every school child would at least know the basic life story of Jesus. Sadly those days have long gone. If you want a short, sharp read about the life of Jesus, then find Mark’s Gospel in the Bible and read it. It won’t take very long at all. It was a short life. These days you don’t even need to own a Bible just type it into a search bar and the Gospel will be there to read. Never have we had access to so much knowledge, easily available to us and yet how foolishly we can waste our time.

So you have stopped, you have looked. The next step is to Listen to Jesus. There are four Gospels each with a different emphasis, each telling us about Jesus and the things he said and did. All you need to know is found in Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. An eternity of wonder can be found in these four short books. If I may make a bold suggestion, if you plan on reading them in full for the first time then read them in this order, Mark, Luke and then Matthew. Lastly and by no means least comes John which is deeper and challenges us to think more and really ought not to be read till you are grounded in the more straightforward Gospels.

So, Stop. Look! and then listen. All you need is a little time.

Learning to See, takes time but it is worth it.

Part 2

/A New Year Dawns for the World

Despite my very best intentions to ignore the secular turning of the year I find myself feeling that I am starting anew. The Church year begins a month earlier and it is full of anticipation as we look to celebrate the coming of the Christ Child. It may be, this feeling of new beginnings, be due more to recovering from illness than a fresh spiritual insight. Again I am beset by the game of second guessing everything. In seeking clarity I therefore muddle the waters considerably.

So what am I feeling? A call to silence. It is very attractive to sit and contemplate in a zen like tranquillity but part of me sees that this could be the very path that leads away from God. If I withdraw into silence how then do I reach out to others to try and draw them to the faith? 

So I see that silence can be a running away from  rather than a running to God. But it is in silence that God is always found. It is at times like these that I long for a wise spiritual Director who would by the grace of God lead me to see what is phantom thinking and what is of God.

The story of little Samuel has always resonated in my heart. To serve childlike in the house of God seems such a perfect goal, to be happy and safe in His presence. Again I question whether this is running away.

I suppose I could encourage myself. 

But I could as easily fool myself. I think I am good at that.

I live as far as possible in quiet isolation partly out of choice, mainly of necessity, if necessity then can it be a virtue?

Difficult also is the separation of realities. I think that needs to be expanded to allow the reader to understand that the various drugs used to treat my illnesses can also alter my perception of reality and perhaps that is why I question everything? Perhaps it is wisdom to test each footstep I take to make sure I land on solid ground. My own mental illness which can only be kept at bay also causes confusion and a blurring of reality, perception. This grave darkness and occasional paranoia leads in its very nature to a desire to flee from all contact with the world. To crouch in safety or perceived safety in the heart of God. I say perceived because I am merely human and open like the first of my kind (Adam) to being easily led astray by my own arrogance of thought and by the great evil that courts every soul with its slippery and eloquent speech.

No wonder I take every step so carefully. Edge forward in darkness, trusting only in the solidity of, and here the metaphors take wing and I am left so to speak with nothing.

If however, and this I do know, seek after the Lord with all my heart, He will reach out and even if I perceive it not He will hold me in safety.