/25

You might think that someone cursed with ill health both physical and mental for more than four decades would have a pretty low opinion of the notion of a graceful and merciful deity. I have met met plenty of people over the years who have harboured  a misplaced anger against God for getting a raw deal out of life. Such attitudes tend to frustrate me as it indicates nothing other than a wrong idea about God, it almost verges on what I think of the lucky rabbit’s foot view of the deity. A God who like a magic genie grants wishes and riches. I hope by this stage of your life and reading you can see the utter otherness of God, who is so far beyond anything we can comprehend.

So why do I count my ill health not only a blessing but a necessary grace from God, why on earth would I give thanks for my life, ruined by earthly standards?

Do you recall the time when Jesus said it was harder for a rich man to enter heaven than any other? Do you recall Jesus  telling us to be like little children? What did he mean by this?

It is about the illusion of self sufficiency. How often we can fall into the trap of thinking we are in control and charge of our own lives. It is very easy the richer you are to fall into the trap of thinking you are just fine on our own. We can acquire anything we want and achieve all of the dreams of life. We don’t need anyone’s help.  We are self sufficient. A wise man will see the folly of such an attitude as it can all be taken from us in an instant, even our lives and loves can be destroyed in the twinkling of an eye. We might think of ourselves as in control and safe yet surely we ought to know this isn’t true.

Children are different. They have no sense of self sufficiency. They know they need help from others. If they are hungry they tell you and you feed them, unwell they are taken care of and cuddled. They can’t provide money, food, bed and shelter for themselves, they know it is all provided for them hopefully by kindly and loving parents who care for their every need but not their every desire.

Our Father wants us to acknowledge  that we are His children and to act towards him accordingly.  He asks that we have a relationship of implicit trust, dependence and love. To feel safe with Him. That’s why I feel blessed by ill health. It has stopped me time and time again falling into the trap that is the illusion of self sufficiency. In having to trust God completely for the provision of every need in my life I have experienced the richness of love, mercy, not only spiritually but materially. God has given me everything I need in life. Without chronic ill health I would have fallen far away from God and been puffed up with false pride in my own ability. Non clinical anxiety has only entered my life when I have failed to trust in God. 

How hard it is for the rich in health or money to think that they are doing just fine and have no need to depend on anybody but themselves. It doesn’t mean of course that such people are therefore barred from heaven or a relationship with God, they are simply used to illustrate a point. But we do all need to cultivate a childlike dependence and trust in Our Loving Father. To live as children knowing that everything is a gift from God, every day is a fresh gift.

Do not fall into believing in the illusion of self sufficiency. We need to be able to utter the words, Help Me.

Our life is terribly fragile and short. This life is not an end in itself otherwise it would be utterly pointless and futile. We are born to enter into living loving relationship with God, to love Him first and foremost only then can we truly love others. Once we enter into that relationship with God nothing can separate us from Him, not even the physical death that will overtake us with absolute certainty.