/Stop, Look and Listen!

Many years ago children were taught a version of the Highway Code that required them to Stop! Look and Listen, to make sure it was safe to cross the road before stepping off the kerb.

In many ways this is also at the very heart  of the Christian Faith. 

Firstly we have to stop. Stopping or even pausing to reflect on things seems almost beyond people these days. Life viewed from the outside now, looks increasingly busy and fraught for many people. It may just be age but I don’t remember it being like that as I grew up. It is very easy to recommend people stop, perhaps less easy for people to actually do it. There are calls on our time that just didn’t exist a decade ago, never mind the years before that, a constant buzz of phone life, of internet life, of Prime Delivery slots. 

All that said, if we don’t manage to stop, to pause, to allow space so that we can simply exist then we will run ourselves into the ground. Occasionally many years ago people would tell me they couldn’t afford to go on holiday. Holiday for them meant the package abroad, theme parks, eating out. For me out of choice as well as necessity it was a field, a tent and time to sit. To play simple games with my children. To walk in woods or cliffs or even just sit on a bench by the water and watch the way the sun played with the ripples or to be more brutally honest to watch the rain bounce off everything.

Once we’ve stopped and come to ourselves, then, we might be able to look. To look at Jesus. Just to gaze reflectively on his life. When I grew up it was a given that every school child would at least know the basic life story of Jesus. Sadly those days have long gone. If you want a short, sharp read about the life of Jesus, then find Mark’s Gospel in the Bible and read it. It won’t take very long at all. It was a short life. These days you don’t even need to own a Bible just type it into a search bar and the Gospel will be there to read. Never have we had access to so much knowledge, easily available to us and yet how foolishly we can waste our time.

So you have stopped, you have looked. The next step is to Listen to Jesus. There are four Gospels each with a different emphasis, each telling us about Jesus and the things he said and did. All you need to know is found in Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. An eternity of wonder can be found in these four short books. If I may make a bold suggestion, if you plan on reading them in full for the first time then read them in this order, Mark, Luke and then Matthew. Lastly and by no means least comes John which is deeper and challenges us to think more and really ought not to be read till you are grounded in the more straightforward Gospels.

So, Stop. Look! and then listen. All you need is a little time.

Learning to See, takes time but it is worth it.

Part 2

/A New Year Dawns for the World

Despite my very best intentions to ignore the secular turning of the year I find myself feeling that I am starting anew. The Church year begins a month earlier and it is full of anticipation as we look to celebrate the coming of the Christ Child. It may be, this feeling of new beginnings, be due more to recovering from illness than a fresh spiritual insight. Again I am beset by the game of second guessing everything. In seeking clarity I therefore muddle the waters considerably.

So what am I feeling? A call to silence. It is very attractive to sit and contemplate in a zen like tranquillity but part of me sees that this could be the very path that leads away from God. If I withdraw into silence how then do I reach out to others to try and draw them to the faith? 

So I see that silence can be a running away from  rather than a running to God. But it is in silence that God is always found. It is at times like these that I long for a wise spiritual Director who would by the grace of God lead me to see what is phantom thinking and what is of God.

The story of little Samuel has always resonated in my heart. To serve childlike in the house of God seems such a perfect goal, to be happy and safe in His presence. Again I question whether this is running away.

I suppose I could encourage myself. 

But I could as easily fool myself. I think I am good at that.

I live as far as possible in quiet isolation partly out of choice, mainly of necessity, if necessity then can it be a virtue?

Difficult also is the separation of realities. I think that needs to be expanded to allow the reader to understand that the various drugs used to treat my illnesses can also alter my perception of reality and perhaps that is why I question everything? Perhaps it is wisdom to test each footstep I take to make sure I land on solid ground. My own mental illness which can only be kept at bay also causes confusion and a blurring of reality, perception. This grave darkness and occasional paranoia leads in its very nature to a desire to flee from all contact with the world. To crouch in safety or perceived safety in the heart of God. I say perceived because I am merely human and open like the first of my kind (Adam) to being easily led astray by my own arrogance of thought and by the great evil that courts every soul with its slippery and eloquent speech.

No wonder I take every step so carefully. Edge forward in darkness, trusting only in the solidity of, and here the metaphors take wing and I am left so to speak with nothing.

If however, and this I do know, seek after the Lord with all my heart, He will reach out and even if I perceive it not He will hold me in safety.

/40

I watched a documentary called Eden Revealed. It was about an archaeological dig in northern Turkey that had found a complex of  carved standing stones that led them to rethink the current views on the life of hunter gatherers in the Fertile Crescent.

It came up with a hypothesis that showed the reason they went from being hunter gathers to farmers toiling day and night to grow crops. Perhaps most interestingly from other sites as well they came to the conclusion that human health suffered a dramatic decline as result in this change of life. The bones spoke to them of many of our own problems with arthritis and other diseases.

They suggested that this change from roaming and enjoying the fruits of the earth in season and eating meat to a life lived in one place where they toiled to grow food less nourishing than what had been gathered and killed in the old life could be likened to the Biblical story of the expulsion from the Garden of Eden.

It was a tolerable idea and one that set my mind off on its own track.

The fundamental thrust of the Biblical story is about trust and reliance on God. In the Garden of Eden all was provided for Adam and Eve they neither toiled nor wept but ate freely of the bounty around them, given to them by God. When they broke that trust and were expelled they found life hard and had to work their fingers to the bone in order to survive.

There is a lesson we need to learn from all this and it is a hard one to achieve but with clear sighted vision it can be grasped if not as a permanent state then at least as an occasional grace. To be truly imitators of Christ we have to learn to trust completely in God, not just for the big things but for everything we need every day. To let God be in charge and to behave with Him as once we did with our parents as children. Did we worry then what we ate or wore? No of course not everything we needed was given to us. As adults it can be very difficult to place ourselves in that position where we let go and trust God with everything in our lives. What needless stress we live with trying to be self sufficient.

Happiness (or perhaps a better word would be contentment) lies  in living in that relationship with God. It is a little like learning to ride a bike we don’t think we can at all and suddenly after practise we learn how to balance and off we go. Trying to live in that trusting relationship with God is like that learning process, we daren’t try it on our own, we are tentative perhaps a bit scared and then once we trust we are off, free.

Learning to submit and to hand over everything to God and to walk daily in that trust, that childlike dependency, is no easy task but it can be done and it brings with it an enormous peace.

I would not suggest such a path unless I had learned it myself and lived it as a reality not knowing where my next meal would come from. I never tested God but I did come to rely on Him many times in my life and was surprised over and over again by His Fatherly care.

/39

It might seem strange to start this chapter with a movie review but bear with me as it is pertinent.

“One Magic Christmas is a 1985 American/Canadian Christmas fantasy film directed by Phillip Borsos. It was released by Walt Disney Pictures and stars Mary Steenburgen and Harry Dean Stanton. It was shot in Meaford, Ontario with some scenes in Owen Sound, Ontario, Canada.

Harry Dean Stanton was one of my favourite actors who sadly died in September combine that with Mary Steenburgen and I had to watch this rather old Christmas film.

Ginnie is not in the Christmas spirit at all and you can’t blame her, her husband has been out of work for six months, they are being evicted from their home after Christmas and she works as a checkout assistant in a supermarket where she has a miserable boss. Money is tight and she sees other people struggling without the wherewithal to make ends meet.

Lurking in the background is an angel tasked with bringing her the spirit of Christmas. Enter, Harry Dean Stanton looking more like a serial killer than an angel.

The children in the story are like soft centred chocolates. Too sweet to be true of course. As the lights go out on all the houses, life takes a tragic turn for the worse, a bank robbery, Dad is shot dead, the children are kidnapped and the car runs off a bridge into an icy river. Death and misery abound.

It all is a plan by Gideon, a plan used in countless films, to make people see what’s really important in life.

The lights go on again and the day is rerun and Ginnie is able to see what really matters and rejoices in Christmas.

It’s utter pap of course, the overly sentimental hogwash beloved in Northern America. Yet if you remove your critical faculties for ninety minutes and curl up on a horrible wet afternoon, you find you have learned a lesson yourself about what’s really important and ninety minutes of your life have slipped by, with perhaps a little nap along the way.”

At the very start of this book I talked about the mish mash of ideas that people have about the nature of the Divine. This film has it in heaps.

Fallacy number one is that people who die become angels. I hear it all the time, it used to be stars as I recall, where the idea came from I have no idea but it isn’t true of course. Are there Angels? Yes indeed. They are powerful creations of God, they are around us and my blessed Guardian angel has been with me throughout my life. But he isn’t a human being and dead people don’t become angels.

Fallacy number two is the idea of a Christmas Spirit. There is no such thing and without trying to sound like Scrooge, Santa Claus, baubles, lights and trees and a pile of presents have nothing to do with Christmas. Nor is it about sentiment, babies and cooing.

It is and the clue is in the name Christ Mass. Christmas starts on Christmas Day and goes on for far longer than commercial interests would lead you to believe. It is the Christian celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ. About God intervening at a set place and time about 2,000 years ago. The Christ child who had been foretold for centuries was both God and Man. It was the turning point in history.

When we remove Christ completely from the Christmas season we miss the whole point of the celebration. The same of course also applies at Easter when eggs and bunnies and daffodils replace the glory of Christ rising from the dead.

The more society turns these celebrations into commercial events the harder it is for those who are trying to learn to see the reality of the Divine. In our current western societies where anything to do with Christian faith is quietly subverted or removed entirely it is hard to swim against the tide. It requires enormous strength and courage to hold fast to what is true.

What we can learn in this chapter is the need to look at all aspects of our life and re-evaluate everything in the light of truth. Examine our thoughts and attitudes and beliefs to make sure that what we think, do and practise is in line with the revealed truth. It can be a very painful process to discover that long held attitudes, ideas or acceptance of the societal norms where we live are no longer acceptable in light of the Divine revelation.

Jesus made this very clear and in a late night chat with Nicodemus when He told him that in order to enter the Kingdom of heaven we need to be born again. A fresh start is needed.

This isn’t some magic wand waving moment but a life long willingness to let God into every part of our life and to be willing to change as God leads us into conforming ourselves into the image or imitation of Christ. To learn to see.

/38

Lamentations :

“It is good to hope in silence for the saving help of the Lord. Let him sit alone and in silence, when it is laid upon him.”

Into my normally peaceful life has come chaos both internal and external. I endeavour to live as quiet and peacefully as I can. I do this by choice and as an adjustment to personal circumstance. It is in this silence that my soul can come to rest. It is here that I can pray, here that I can think, here that I can dwell on the things of God.

In writing this book not only is self discipline required but also external circumstance that lead to quietness and periods of silence. I have been in a chaos of external events and this in turn has reduced my mental state to that of a loud fairground. Even Mass or sitting before the Blessed Sacrament has been less than helpful. My mind would not still in these moments and along with a sense of guilt came a sense of failure. I cried out or perhaps more accurately the Spirit cried out for me to the Father and at last I came to healing silence before God and with that came peace.

I felt compelled to share this because it is important that we learn to see the absolute importance of finding solitude. Then and only then are we able to sit in the schoolroom and be taught by Our Lord and Master. For ten days I have lived in chaos and it is an emptying experience like being in the desert and lacking water.

For me this will be a short respite but I am here now in total silence. Not a sound. Here I can listen to the heartbeat of God, can rest awhile in the sacred Heart of Jesus. Finally I had to make the choice to settle here, to get rid of all distractions and focus on the Lord. The chance was offered and I could so easily have wasted this precious time.

“Let him sit alone and in silence, when it is laid upon him.” So it is for me. Perhaps it is not the path for everyone but is most certainly my path. I may be trying to help you to learn how how to see with all its many levels of meaning but of course I can only share with you what I myself have learned. What is helpful to me may not be helpful to you. Only the Lord can speak to you. If my words are a vehicle that work as a conduit for His word to you then that is wonderful. But I am only a fellow traveller on this road. We have come together to share part of the, it is no more than that, and here I have shared with you my own adventures on this spiritual road we travel. Soon our ways will part and we will go our separate ways. It was ever thus, be glad for those times when paths cross and we can learn from one another as we share our experiences of the road and our own precious insights into the Christian journey.

/37

I spent this morning trying to get my head wrapped round some of the teachings of the Blessed John Duns Scotus, a philosopher priest from the High Middle Ages. I failed as I always do when tackling philosophy to understand the confusion and complexity of thought that lies behind their ideas. I guess after fifty odd years of trying to get to grips I have to admit failure. Part of the reason I think is the tortured way they deal with subjects, that and the fact none of it can ever be proved, we never get to the definitive answer. However all was not lost in my morning study as I read part of his proof of the necessity of the Immaculate Conception in our theological studies. I found this to be helpful as I struggled with this idea for a long time trying to get to grips with it intellectually. It was refreshing to read the clarity of his writing on this subject as he ended up in the same place as myself, not that for one minute do I equate myself with his masterful mind. I muddled my way through to a similar conclusion.

It was his thinking that five centuries later led to it being declared in the 19th century as a Dogma of the Church. It wasn’t a new idea, it had been around for a very long time, especially in Eastern Christianity.

Basically we are to believe that Mary was born without the stain of original sin and therefore was the perfect host for the Son of God. His argument goes like this, and here I quote from the excellent article on Wikipedia, : 

“Mary was in need of redemption like all other human beings, but through the merits of Jesus' crucifixion, given in advance, she was conceived without the stain of original sin. God could have brought it about 

1. that she was never in original sin, 
2. she was in sin only for an instant, 
3. she was in sin for a period of time, being purged at the last instant.”

To grasp it fully we must of course refer back to a previous discussion about the nature of time as a created entity that God is not bound by in anyway. Whether we understand these things fully or not doesn’t really matter as long as we realise the importance of the role of Mary in the bringing about our salvation and the devotion due to her as Mother of God and Queen of Heaven and first of the disciples.

God does not demand from us the abilities of a Duns Scotus but rather simple childlike faith and trust. If we can understand then it may be helpful or it may not,  but we should be thankful for these intellectual giants who forged new paths of thinking. His arguments for the Immaculate Conception caused uproar in Paris when first presented. But his thoughts have stood the test of time and examination to become an accepted part of the deposit of faith handed down to us. He like so many others over the centuries was both teaching us and learning to see the truth.

/36

There is no earthly reward to be claimed for following Christ in this world. Our reward if you want to think of it this way lies in the future for us, an eternity of service and praise. The Lord showers many blessings upon us as we travel through time to our destination. But these are  small compared to that which awaits us in the day of joyful union. During our sojourn on this earth the Lord will provide us with what we need for our journey. Even down to a loaf of bread he will care for us as any loving Father cares for his children. Living in our state of disobedience He still cares for us, in giving us freedom we are free to make a mess of things, yet He is always ready to comfort and care for us as soon as we turn to Him.

I heard a very gentle explanation of original sin in a homily given by a newly ordained Priest. Let me share it with you.

Don’t touch the stove the parent commands a child it is hot you will burn yourself. It will hurt. If you are a parent you will be well aware that despite all these warnings nine times out of ten the child will disobey and pay no heed to such admonitions. The little hand goes out to see what happens, to touch what is so fascinating. Pain follows and loud wails fill the kitchen. What does the kindly loving Father or Mother do. They immediately run to care for the infant, running the hot burning hand under cold water and dealing with the consequences of the disobedience no matter how severe. So God deals with us in our dumbness and idiocy as we stumble through life. The rules He has given us are designed to bring us good things in life and to keep us safe. It is only when we abuse such rules as individuals or as a society do we come to real harm.

The disobedient child in the kitchen is as valid a way of reading the story of Adam and Eve as any other. Consequences follow but a loving God gives a pathway to comfort as well.

We can often fall into the sin of pride in our adult thinking as though we, mere specks of dust in a vast universe, can truly question God. Many try  to place their intellect on par with the mind of God as they proclaim His existence, non existence or try to tell us what He thinks or wants. I am often dismayed by their actions by their failure to grasp anything beyond themselves and their limited understanding, limitations they fail to see or acknowledge. They remind me of the child warned not to touch the hot surface who nevertheless goes ahead convinced in his limited understanding that all will be well.

I look around at our hedonistic materialism and consumerism indeed our whole post Christian way of life and I want to cry. For me it is a rending of garments. I weep for those who blindly continue on the road to nowhere. Jesus looked at his generation and in particular at the jewel of Jerusalem and wept for He would have gathered them all to his bosom, wrapped them in his love if they would have let him. He was filled with sadness.

We may feel a similar sadness about those around us and our society and our world and we may condemn it all as foolishness and self destructive, but never ever forget we may rail against the sin but never the sinner. We are all sinners. To stick with the imagery of the child in the kitchen we have permission as it were to despair at the inevitability of disobedience and the touching of the hot surface but we are never to direct that at the child who will soon burst into tears and need all of our love and compassion.